I don’t really try to do New Year’s resolutions, but I am accidentally sort of doing it anyway this year. It’s not so much about the date on the calendar, though; it’s just a natural progression of crawling out of a bit of seasonal depression and realizing I hardly accomplished the goals I set for myself last year.
I’m pulling back on setting numbers in my goals this year. I don’t know how many books I intended to read last year, but I can assure you I started several and finished exactly zero of them. I think I estimated I had enough yarn to knit 22 hats… I made 2.75. I had big ideas about making a bunch of original vinyl decal designs, but found myself scrolling through Facebook endlessly when I meant to be in a design program.
So this year, I am - as previously mentioned - trying to get off the internet a bit so I can get grounded in my real life, read more books, knit more things, develop a daily drawing practice, take my dog more places, and be a little less anxious about how everything in the world is about to boil over. I want to go camping alone with my pup at least once this year. I want to find more calm within myself so I can let go of some smoking habits that only temporarily help.
I just want to work on being more effective and calm at life in general. I keep convincing myself I’ve made it there and I’m ready for the world, but I just… am not. And that’s okay! Growing and learning and challenging myself is fun! If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t.
This isn’t about shutting off what’s happening in the world - I plan on staying informed and continuing to do my work on dismantling & mitigating systems of harm. It’s about becoming more effective at what I do and honing my skills. I pulled myself in 800 directions over the last two years and I am feeling really ready to focus.
Over the weekend, I managed to get caught up on 90% of the cleaning in my house - including going through months (yes, MONTHS) of snail mail. Yesterday I deleted 3000 unread emails between two email accounts. So, I am feeling like I’m off to a good start in my intention to get a little focus back in my life. Let’s do this thing!